"Mama." A couple of days after Isaiah's first birthday he said, "mama" for the first time. I keep having to remind myself that there was a witness and I'm not making it up in my head. He's only said it the one time but he connected consonant and vowel sounds to form a word. His babbling continues to develop. It has purpose. He's not just making noises all the time, although he still does that a lot.
This post is a long overdue reflection of Isaiah's past year. But I have to go back a bit further so you can understand where I'm coming from. I have been pregnant four times. Getting pregnant with Morgan was pretty easy. I didn't want to tell anyone besides immediate family because I kept thinking that something was going to happen. But it didn't. Morgan is beautiful and healthy and vibrant. Before he was even a year old I became pregnant again. The week before the first doctor's visit at eight weeks I had a miscarriage. It was difficult. But I suppose I wasn't very surprised. I knew these things happened to a lot more women than we realize. I knew in my heart that God still wanted me to have children. So two months later I was pregnant again.
Just a couple of days after the positive test I had a morning where I felt very strange. I felt a pang in my side and just laid on the kitchen floor. Gabriel got up and took care of Morgan. I drank a bunch of water and rested and the weird pain went away. Then a couple of days later the same thing happened. I rested and it went away again. Then a couple of days later the weird pain came back but it wouldn't go away. I called my doctor's nurse in the early afternoon and she said if it continued to persist I should come in to get checked out. I wasn't even five weeks yet so they wouldn't be able to find a heart beat but they could tell me that I was ok. Later I collapsed in the hallway so we called and said I was coming in. That night I had emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy. I had a ruptured fallopian tube that was causing internal bleeding. By the time they took me back for surgery I had blood as high as my lungs.Losing two pregnancies within a few months was difficult. It was very hard. My family was very supportive and helped with Morgan while I recovered. Very soon after my surgery we had a women's retreat at our church. There I was able to really come to terms with the pain I was feeling and pray with Godly women over future children and my heart and everything.
A year later I missed the women's retreat because I was giving birth to Isaiah. I went into labor while women at my church were gathered. God's timing is His own. I have no control over anything and I especially feel that in bearing children. I can't pick what color eyes they have or their skin tone or anything. God chooses all of those things. He chooses to give me a baby with congenital toxoplasmosis after losing two babies. I don't share all this for pity. I share it so you can all appreciate how much of a treasure Isaiah is to us.My whole life has been in preparation for being Morgan and Isaiah's momma. I was the sibling of the child with brain injury and vision problems. (For those of you who don't know about my brother he's a stellar guy who competes internationally in triathlons. You can find out more about him here, Brandon Adame.) I have a unique perspective in raising Morgan as the sibling of a child who will get more attention. I have the blessing of parents who have been the parents to a child who needs more attention. These things don't just HAPPEN.
In the past year I have had to lean more on God than I ever have. I have needed Him more than ever. Gabriel has been an amazing father to our boys. He has led our family through the most difficult choices and he has rejoiced in the progress Isaiah has made. I am so thankful to have him as a husband to me and a father to our children.
As Isaiah has continued to grow we have had every major prayer answered. We prayed that he would just smile and now he lights up when he sees daddy after he's been at work all day. He laughs when he swings at the park. We prayed that he would normalize his tone so he could develop fine and gross motor skills. He can now sit and play with toys without me being worried he'll fall over. He can pick toys up and bang them around. We prayed that he would be able to talk and he babbles and said mama. Isaiah said mama. We prayed over his shunt procedure that it would go well and that there would be no complications. It's not a stretch to say that it is a minor miracle that he continues to be obstruction and infection free.We continue to pray and trust in God's plan for our lives. Our current prayers are for continued development in these areas and healing in others. Isaiah's last eye appointment revealed a huge change in his vision in his left (bad) eye. His vision went from a -6 to a -11. Some change is normal but this was quite a jump. We go back in a few weeks to check everything again. As always thank you for your prayers and support. Please continue to pray for Isaiah's development and do not hesitate to contact me if you are going through something and would like prayer and encouragement.
